Anti-Mentor: Someone who demonstrates by word and deed exactly what you DO NOT want to do or be.
When I think back to all the people who have mistreated me, abused me, taken advantage of me, I realize that I am the man I am because I got to fight through those moments. They were wrong, no doubt about it, but I can't deny the positive result they have had on my life.
I also recognize that I had the choice in the matter.
You can let your anti-mentors be the baggage that weighs you down or the reason you get up and fight.
What choice will you make? Will you accept these people as anti-mentors or will you choose to let them control your life?
3 benefits of anti-mentors:
1. You clarify what you don't want and simplify what you do want.
Knowing what you don't want is just as important as knowing what you do. So, observe and learn from your anti-mentors.
Why do they do what they do?
What story are they telling themselves about the world around them?
How did they become the person they are?
These questions will help you better understand them, better understand yourself and even forgive them for the pain they might have caused you.
The truth is, hurting you probably had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with their own internal issues.
2. It keeps you from becoming someone else's anti-mentor
The whole point of recognizing the anti-mentors in your life is to not become one. Take a moment to think about the people who might identify you as an anti-mentor.
Who have you hurt?
Who have you wronged?
The reality is, you are probably someone's anti-mentor. The good news is, you can change that. If you can, try to make things right by confessing and apologizing. No excuses, no justifications, just apologize.
3. You confirm your superpower:
You may not know this but, you have a super power. You can fly.
You fly when you make the conscious choice to mentally zoom out of your life, look down, and make choices based on a higher perspective. You forfeit this power when you allow other people and outside circumstances to clip your wings and dictate your emotional well-being.
As my friend Jason Goldberg likes to say, "You are not your thought, you are the thinker of your thoughts".
Another smart guy, Eckhart Tolle said, “The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not “the thinker.” The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter – beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace – arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken."