It’s embarrassing really… Every time I walk into a room, I get assaulted with masses and masses of appreciation. People commonly go out of their way to tell me how important I am and how much I mean to society. Streamers fall, confetti flies and sometimes, I think people are overdoing it a little.
If this is your experience, stop reading this right now. Go write a book and tell the rest of us your secrets.
If this is not your experience, you may be a person who feels the same way about appreciation that John D. Rockefeller felt about money.
Mr. Rockefeller was once asked, “How much money is enough money?” He replied, “Just a little bit more.”
No matter how much appreciation I get, I am always willing to take a little more. I imagine you are like me and so are the people we interact with every day.
If I would like more appreciation, and you would like more appreciation, maybe (just maybe) the people around us would appreciate a little more appreciation. So, here are some tips.
3 types of appreciation:
1.) Appreciation for what someone has.
I love your house!
2.) Appreciation for what someone has done.
Congrats on your promotion!
Awesome job on that project!
Congratulations on your recent graduation!
3.) Appreciation for who someone is.
You are loyal.
You are kind.
You are trustworthy.
You are caring.
I’ve found that any of these forms of appreciation are nice but only go so far until you prove it.
Most people get so little appreciation that when they do get it, their first thought is, “I wonder what they want from me”. If you want people to receive appreciation in a positive way, tell them something about who they are and back it up with something they’ve done.
The lame way:
Mark, You are awesome!
The better way:
Mark, You are kind. I say that because of how you reacted when Jim made that big mistake. You didn’t yell at him or lose your cool. You just helped him make the best of a bad situation.
If you were in Mark’s place, which appreciation would you prefer? An abstract comment about your awesomeness, or a direct statement about who you are with proof?
Try this: Appreciate people for WHO they are and provide proof based on something you saw them do.
I promise people will appreciate you more.